Rambling: Winter stress

I hate this time of year.

So, I’m moving– I’m outta this place on the 22nd. I’m liking my new house a lot. My tenants? Well, we’ll see. They’re JW’s. They know my grandpa. I’m pretty sure their kids went to school with my siblings for a while.

Yeah. I feeling a little paranoid. They’re getting kind of pushy already. And Grandma (who’s on title– it’s a long story) hasn’t exactly put her foot down. She pretty much promised to rent to them, and put me in a position where I couldn’t say “no.” At least, not without causing all sorts of other issues and making myself look like the world’s biggest asshole. She avoided telling me exactly who she made this promise to as long as possible. She’d wait until I was distracted– the night before a term paper was due, for example– to tell me things, then insist on an answer right then and there. She changed the subject whenever I brought it up. My grandma is an expert at giving answers that don’t actually tell you anything useful– the grand master of bullshitting.

I’m a little peeved.

It gets worse: my accident happened in late December. Driving is really panicky for me, especially at night. It brings up memories that I really don’t want to think about.

After my accident, I needed several blood transfusions (massive intestinal ruptures = contamination of the entire circulatory system.)

JW’s are forbidden to have blood transfusions. Fortunately for me, my mom doesn’t buy into that kind of bullshit. But my Grandpa does, and he made sure that we all knew the doctrine. It’s one of those “family politics” things– my parents had screwed up, my grandparents were helping out, and one of my Grandpa’s conditions for helping was that we were to be raised in the “Truth.”

The same “Truth” which dictated that I shouldn’t have received the blood transfusions that saved my life. The same “Truth” which lead others to assure me that it wasn’t my fault that I’d received the blood transfusions that saved my life. Yes, you read that right.

JW’s are also forbidden from celebrating “Christmas.” My parents, Aunt, and Grandma always celebrated, but it was kept secretive– Grandpa couldn’t know. It was a time of sneaking around and keeping lies, and for what? I don’t think I ever really bought in to the whole Jesus thing. The Santa illusion never even got a chance, thanks to my Grandpa.

The whole thing makes me wish I could just… I dunno, hibernate over the winter or something.

So, it’s been a little while

Life’s been complicated over the last couple of weeks, so I haven’t had the time/energy to post much.

The cold from hell turned out to be bronchitis. Yay… >.< Speaking of which, I need to find a new doctor, preferably one which will speak up when their patent’s grandfather follows them into the examination room without being asked to.

Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the École Polytechnique massacre, and the 18th annual National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women (clearly, whoever came up with the name didn’t expect to have to read it out in from of a crowd). UFV’s memorial was yesterday. Four people showed up for the memorial, aside from myself– and two were related to me. It’s always nice to know my hard work is appreciated. On the other hand, since I only had a week to pull it all together, I think I did an ok job.

Of course, the NDoRaAoVAW (damn, that’s a messy acronym…) has special significance in my family. In 1985, my aunt Kim and her two children were shot and killed by her ex, who had stalked them for several years prior to the murder. The killer was denied parole in February.

I’m supposed to be writing a paper on heterosexism and ageing, but I can’t get motivated. Instead, I’m rereading Lightning on the Waves’ Sacrifices arc, because I’m obviously not depressed enough.

Seriously, if you can read the entire series without crying, you’re probably completely dead inside. Yep, it’s massivley AU. Yep, it’s H/D. Yep, there’s a cubic fuckton of OC’s. Yep, Harry is massively OOC. And yep, it’s probably the best fic I’ve ever read– possibly the best story I’ve ever read, period. Whatever you do, though, don’t ignore the warnings; there’s a lot of potentially triggery stuff.

Remember, of course, that I’ve been socially isolated for most of my life…

I got lost on East Hastings twice tonight. It was a game night- Canucks won. I hate translink (the GVRD’s transit system). I never thought I’d appreciate Aldergrove so much.

So how was your Friday night?

2009 Transgender day of Remembrance

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Tomorrow, I will write about transphobia, and how fortunate I’ve been. But not today. Today isn’t about me.

Today is about Angie Zapata. It’s about Taysia Elzy. It’s about Cesar Torres. It’s about Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado.

It’s about every trans person and gender-nonconformist who has been denied a chance to live their lives because some fuckwad decided that they were less than human. It’s about those who can no longer fight.

It’s about remembering why we’re fighting so hard.

Yeah, I couldn’t help myself… :)

moar funny pictures

Photo via Dr. Gloria Brame on Bilerico

Thoughts on pot

So, I feel like writing. And I’ve been thinking about pot. Prepare for rambling.

I’m not a fan of pot prohibition. I believe that the act of smoking a joint is not inherently more injurious than many other legal acts. I do understand, however, that there are extraneous factors which can cause damage.

I have a couple ofbasic guidelines for judging behaviour related to smoking pot.

1. Discretion is the better part of valour.
   Discretion can save you a whole lot of trouble. If you aren’t being obnoxious, many people will not give a shit. It’s when you start stepping on people’s toes that they have problems. So, seriously, don’t be a dick.
2. If you shouldn’t do it while/after drinking, you shouldn’t do it while/after smoking.
   Yanno, people driving while intoxicated scares the shit outta me. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been in a rather bad car accident. I’m not willing to repeat the experience. Don’t toke and drive.
3. Likewise, if you shouldn’t be drinking, you shouldn’t be smoking pot.
   If you’re doing something that needs your full attention to be effective (like, driving home from work, working with heavy machinery, or anything else that can cause mayhem, injury, or death) please, don’t do it stoned >.<
4. Know the risks.
   Some people just shouldn’t smoke pot, just as some people shouldn’t drink. Sometimes, there’s health reasons- inhaling smoke is not particularly healthy, and there can be side effects to smoking pot. Erowid is a good resource.

All of these can be further summed up in two words: Be responsible.

I don’t think that prohibition encourages responsible use. Instead, it pushes all use underground, and treats it all equally. And seriously? The dude who smokes a joint to de-stress once he gets home from work is not the same as the guy who does stupid, dangerous shit while stoned.

Prohibition obviously doesn’t stop people from smoking dope. I mean, seriously. I grew up in a rural area, where there was nothing to do but smoke dope. I went up to a cousin’s wedding near Vernon– damn, those people smoke a lot of pot. And no one really cares, because they aren’t stepping on anyone’s toes. There’s some pretty good local shit available up there. Ah, BC, how I love thee…

Anyways, I favour legalization with restrictions. Treat it like alcohol or tobacco- age restrictions, restrictions on where and when you can smoke, etc. One argument I’ve heard against this involves the amount of pot grown in private homes; on the other hand, people brew wine and beer at home, too. Make quality controlled pot available in liquor stores and tax it. Ta-da! The government gets money (and while I’m talking about the gov’t, maybe they could stop being such wasteful douches?), allows for a shift in control, and deflate the “there’s no quality control” excuse against pot use. And trust me, people will buy, if prices are reasonable. Restrict amounts that people are allowed to grow privately; if they want to grow more, they can adhere to whatever regulations for quality control and sales there are. If you put these laws in place, and make sure they’re reasonable, responsible users and growers will comply.

Goals for the next 5 years

It hit me last night that, come 2010, I’ll have been out of high school for 5 years, and I really haven’t made much progress with… well, anything. So, I’m setting some goals for myself, to be completed before my 10 year high school reunion.

• Medical and legal transition: I want to be legally “Sean Brendan Evans” by this time, and to have been on hormones for long enough to have facial hair. Top surgery is a possibility in this time period as well, but I’m not holding myself to that.
• Get in shape: I want to be in better shape well before this time, and to have been in shape for long enough that I’ll have to work on maintenance rather than weight loss.
• Finish my degree and get a job in a related field: It won’t be enough to simply finish my degree- I need to be working in a job related to it, and possibly be working on my master’s degree as well.

I figure these larger goals will spawn a heap of smaller goals (“lose X lbs.,” etc.) over the next few years, but it seems like a good idea to go into all this with a basic idea of where I want to end up, and a time line to work on.

Fundie logic: Same-sex marriage = bad, inciting violence against queers = good

Gary Cass, of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commision, has decided quite firmly that hate crime laws violate his rights- despite, of course, his apparent lack on knowledge as to what entails a hate crime. So as a means of protesting this perceived unfairness, he has called upon clergy to incite hate crimes.

I can see this going one of two ways:

1. Those who listen to what he says stick to the standard “god hates queers” crap. Nothing changes, but he counts it as a success because no one is arrested; or
2. Someone takes his words and actively advocates violence against queers, leading to an actual attack on a queer (or someone who’s assumed to be such) that can be traced back to him. Any action- including protests and other acts that don’t involve legal repercussions to preachers- taken will immediately be seen as justification of his original point.

For those of you who aren’t aware, the US hate crimes bill explicitly states that protected speech is, well, protected.

(6) CONSTITUTIONAL PROTECTIONS- Nothing in this division shall be construed to prohibit any constitutionally protected speech, expressive conduct or activities (regardless of whether compelled by, or central to, a system of religious belief), including the exercise of religion protected by the first amendment to the Constitution of the United States and peaceful picketing or demonstration. The Constitution of the United States does not protect speech, conduct or activities consisting of planning for, conspiring to commit, or committing an act of violence.

What really pisses me off, though, is the fact that this guy- and a whole slew of others like him- are still pretending that we’re the ones without morals. ‘Cause, hey, we aren’t conforming to their idealized heteronormative and cisnormative roles. And that’s waay worse than advocating vandalism, assault, and other crimes meant to terrorize a marginalized group of people.

H/T Waymon

US Conservatives target trans people (surprise, surprise)

From Politico:

The federal government would be banned from funding sex change operations and other services for transgender individuals if social conservative activists get their way.

There’s no sponsor yet for an amendment to the health care overhaul – and it may remain in the dustbin of unrealized wedge issues – but culture warriors are shopping the proposal to Republican senators.

The language is written: “None of the funds authorized or appropriated under this act (or an amendment made by this Act) shall be used to cover any part or portion of the costs of any health plan that includes coverage of” any sex or gender reassignment procedure, surgery related to such a sex change, hormone therapy for a sex change or pre- and post-operation treatments for a sex change.

A senior aide to a Republican senator said that a public insurance plan could easily end up covering sex-change procedures if that’s not specifically banned in the bill.

“It’s not that hard to imagine that a new federal health plan crafted and implemented by this administration would cover sex-change surgeries. Anything not explicitly prohibited in the bill is effectively on the table. Most Americans probably would prefer that their tax dollars not pay for or subsidize transgender surgery,” the aide said.

Advocates for transgender people note that it is often difficult for them to obtain insurance that covers medical needs related to their transition and say that sometimes basic medical care has been unfairly denied.

“Unfortunately, some insurance companies broadly interpret language excluding transgender-related care and services to deny coverage for non-transition-related procedures for transgender individuals. Insurers justify these exclusions by stating that your current medical problem is somehow related to your transition,” the Transgender Law Center wrote in a fact sheet posted on its Website.

The ironclad language of the funding-ban amendment suggests the type of prohibition conservatives want to see on coverage of abortion if a new health care exchange includes a government-backed insurance option.

House Democrats say they have a plan that would segregate federal funds to prevent taxpayer support for abortion services, but abortion critics say the proposed firewall would not fully shield taxpayers from footing the bill for the practice. In its first iteration, the House version of the health care bill didn’t mention the word abortion – though it carried significant implications for the availability of insurance coverage for the procedure.

Several Democratic aides – and Sen Roland Burris (D-Ill.) – declined to comment on the proposal.

Never mind that for some, SRS is a medical necessity. After all, other people’s personal opinions on transsexuality are far more important than providing care to trans people, right?

Guh. Please, contact your reps and tell them that procedures necessary to stable mental and physical health should not be left uncovered simply because they squick some people.

(h/t Questioning Transphobia)

Just a few updates

So, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve posted, and I figured it was time for an update.

1) I’m still astounded by the stats on my last post. Seriously, it’s gotten 10 times as many hits as all of my previous posts combined. It’s a bit of a ego boost to know that there’s over a thousand people out there who want to know what you think

2) It looks like I’ve bought a house- #2 to be precise. Yay!

3) Remember to VOTE if you’re in Maine, Kalamazoo, or Washington state.